I’m now 28 weeks pregnant, which marks the start of the third trimester.

The Babycentre app kindly informed me of all the lovely things I have to look forward to: “Normal symptoms of the third semester may include heartburn, hemorrhoids, constipation, urinary incontinence, swelling and itchy skin. Your breasts may also begin leaking milk.”

Oh the glamour. Like I didn’t feel bad enough when my last Bounty packĀ  included samples of Tena Lady and stretch mark cream.

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