It’s so hard being 4. Or so our daughter reminds us on an almost daily basis. When she is being a little monkey (yeah, let’s stick with monkey) and things aren’t quite going her way, she comes out with some often hilarious, sometimes heartbreaking, retorts.

I try not to take it personally.  She is quite fickle and within five minutes I will be back to being the “best Mummy in the world”. Which sounds like a huge compliment, until you hear her say in the same breath that Daddy is the best “in the whole universe”!So here are some of the things that our 4 year old has come out with lately when she isn’t getting her own way. Often said through gritted teeth while stamping her foot.

1. “You have spoiled my whole day.”

2. “You ruin my world.” (When our crimes are worse than just day-spoiling)

3. “If you tell me off again I’m going to go out of the house on my own and go live in the woods.”

4. “I don’t want you to be my Mummy and Daddy anymore. I’m going to find a new family. Clara can come with me.” (At least she loves her sister!)

5. “I don’t want to live here anymore. I’m going to live with Auntie Di.” (Lucky Auntie Di!)

6. “You’re not coming to my birthday party.” (Said when her birthday is 10 month away)

7. “I am 5 now but you didn’t know that because I didn’t invite you to my party.” (Said in a very vindictive manner!)

8. “You have broken my little heart.” (Awww)

9. “Stop being nice to me!” (Said whilst fuming that I am responding to her angry screams with polite nonchalance.)

10. “Stop saying kind things. I hate kind things. I’m too angry for kind things.”

11. “I’m going to tell your Mummy and Daddy!” (You go tell Grandma and Grandad, I think they will agree with me on this one.)

12. “I’m going to call the police and tell them all about you!”

13. “We are not best friends anymore.”

14. “You are the most awful-est Mummy ever!” (Said because I asked her to take her shoes off.)

I had several of these screamed at me this morning alone, amidst a tantrum of epic proportions. You know the type. You know as soon as it starts that it’s going to get much, much worse before it passes. You try to warn passers by to take cover. Save yourselves! But it’s too late.

Forget paranoia, everyone in the shop is staring. With deafening screams and tears streaming down her face, I managed to channel some kind of inner calm and swiftly hauled her out of the shop with one hand while pushing the trolley with the other. She didn’t want to leave the shop or get in the car. The car seat battle resulted in me being kicked in the stomach and chest. My beautiful and cheeky girl looked like she was auditioning for a remake of the exorcist.

And why? What could have possibly caused this outburst?

Bloody Frozen. More specifically, a plastic Frozen bag with hair slides in it. Because she doesn’t own enough Frozen hair slides. And copious other tat adorned with the Disney sisters.

But the storm eventually passed, so to speak, and she was soon back to her sweet and innocent self. Phew. It is hard being a 4 year old. At moments like that its even harder being the parent of one!

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38 comments on “From the mouth of a furious 4 year old”

  1. LOL!!! So I have some of this to look forward to then? I especially like the comments relating to her birthday and birthday parties. Ah, kid logic!

    • Yep, for some reason missing out on birthday parties seem to be the ultimate threat! She said I wasn’t going to her last birthday, until I pointed out that if I didnt go there would be no cake.

  2. Haha those make me laugh, they’re great! ESP ‘I’m going to tell your mummy and daddy’. We’ve got all this to come, must be hard not to just laugh at them!

    • Sometimes I can’t stop myself laughing but that just makes her more angry! Honestly she is really lovely most if the time. But then she has these moments were she goes crazy!

  3. Oh wow, I’d struggle to keep a straight face with some of those. The ‘you’ve broken my little heart’ one though? Aaargh, that would probably kill me! x

    #sundaystars

  4. Oh this is brilliant! I used to say a lot of these things to my parents. Especially the running away thing – my sister and I ran away to the bottom of the garden once! Helen just shouts ‘leave me alone’ and runs away to her bedroom which really isn’t much of a punishment. #sundaystars

    • I used to threaten to run away a lot! Once I made it to the corner of our street when my sister was babysitting. I just sat there until my parents got home!

  5. Oh dear I have boys who are much more chilled, but she is clearly very clever to think of all these thing to say to you bless her, and she clearly knows her own mind , a strong woman x

  6. This is such a cute post! I’m sure most parents will be able to relate, I’m sure I said some pretty horrid things to my Mum and Dad when I was a kid! I think I’ll start using “You ruin my world.”

    • Thanks, I’m sure I must have had my moments too! I’m not sure my daughter will appreciate this post when she is older though and I can remind her of all the things she used to say to me!

    • Frozen is responsible for about 90% of the tantrums she has in shops! Not that she always has a tantrum, most of the time she is quite good in shops. But when she’s not is most likely because she wants something with frozen on it!

  7. ah I can so relate to this Im so glad to hear my 4 year old isn’t the only one like this, I get “you are the naughtiest mummy ever I will put you in the naughty spot” thanks for linking up to sunday stars x

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