It’s so hard being 4. Or so our daughter reminds us on an almost daily basis. When she is being a little monkey (yeah, let’s stick with monkey) and things aren’t quite going her way, she comes out with some often hilarious, sometimes heartbreaking, retorts.
I try not to take it personally. She is quite fickle and within five minutes I will be back to being the “best Mummy in the world”. Which sounds like a huge compliment, until you hear her say in the same breath that Daddy is the best “in the whole universe”!So here are some of the things that our 4 year old has come out with lately when she isn’t getting her own way. Often said through gritted teeth while stamping her foot.
1. “You have spoiled my whole day.”
2. “You ruin my world.” (When our crimes are worse than just day-spoiling)
3. “If you tell me off again I’m going to go out of the house on my own and go live in the woods.”
4. “I don’t want you to be my Mummy and Daddy anymore. I’m going to find a new family. Clara can come with me.” (At least she loves her sister!)
5. “I don’t want to live here anymore. I’m going to live with Auntie Di.” (Lucky Auntie Di!)
6. “You’re not coming to my birthday party.” (Said when her birthday is 10 month away)
7. “I am 5 now but you didn’t know that because I didn’t invite you to my party.” (Said in a very vindictive manner!)
8. “You have broken my little heart.” (Awww)
9. “Stop being nice to me!” (Said whilst fuming that I am responding to her angry screams with polite nonchalance.)
10. “Stop saying kind things. I hate kind things. I’m too angry for kind things.”
11. “I’m going to tell your Mummy and Daddy!” (You go tell Grandma and Grandad, I think they will agree with me on this one.)
12. “I’m going to call the police and tell them all about you!”
13. “We are not best friends anymore.”
14. “You are the most awful-est Mummy ever!” (Said because I asked her to take her shoes off.)
I had several of these screamed at me this morning alone, amidst a tantrum of epic proportions. You know the type. You know as soon as it starts that it’s going to get much, much worse before it passes. You try to warn passers by to take cover. Save yourselves! But it’s too late.
Forget paranoia, everyone in the shop is staring. With deafening screams and tears streaming down her face, I managed to channel some kind of inner calm and swiftly hauled her out of the shop with one hand while pushing the trolley with the other. She didn’t want to leave the shop or get in the car. The car seat battle resulted in me being kicked in the stomach and chest. My beautiful and cheeky girl looked like she was auditioning for a remake of the exorcist.
And why? What could have possibly caused this outburst?
Bloody Frozen. More specifically, a plastic Frozen bag with hair slides in it. Because she doesn’t own enough Frozen hair slides. And copious other tat adorned with the Disney sisters.
But the storm eventually passed, so to speak, and she was soon back to her sweet and innocent self. Phew. It is hard being a 4 year old. At moments like that its even harder being the parent of one!