I wrote this post when Clara was just under 5 weeks old, and had planned to type it up into a blog post soon after. In my sleep deprived state I forgot about it, until I recently came across it in an old notebook (almost 3 years later!). This is my account of 24 hours as a Mum to a 5 week old and a 3 year old… it involves sick in my bra, 12 breastfeeds in 18 hours and a good old dose of mum guilt.
3:45am – Woken up by Clara crying for a feed. I’ve had 3.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep which is something of a record, probably the most I’ve had since before she was born.
4:35am – Wake up suddenly, realising I’ve fallen asleep feeding Clara, who herself is now happily asleep in my arms. Put her back in her moses basket, hoping I won’t see her again until 7am.
You’ve read the books. You’ve gone to the antenatal classes. You’ve politely listened to unsolicited advice from strangers at the bus stop. You’re prepared, right?
You have an idea what to expect during pregnancy and labour, and are pretty sure you will know how to change and bathe the baby. But what about you? After the birth you don’t just go back to being the pre-pregnancy you overnight. Aside from the fact that you have a teeny tiny human relying on you to fulfil their every need, your body – and mind – goes through some pretty weird things.
New research promotes co-sleeping
Izzy came through to our room and climbed in bed with us last night. We don’t encourage this and luckily it doesn’t happen often but as long as she is prepared to go to sleep and not just wanting to play sometimes it’s not worth the 2am tears to try and put her back in her own bed. However I cannot sleep well when she’s in bed with me. I toss and turn a lot and I’m terrified of rolling over, hitting, kicking or covering her with a big thick duvet.
Plus I have the occasional crazy moment in my sleep. It started when I used to breastfeed Izzy while sat in bed. I would half wake up and wouldn’t be able to remember putting her back in her moses basket so I would start to panic that I’d fallen asleep while feeding and dropped her. Sometimes I would be convinced that Izzy was in bed and was about to fall out so would hold her tightly trying to save her. Except Isabel would be safe in her basket or cot and instead of ‘saving’ I was full on attacking Hubby in his sleep. Somehow mistaking a grown man for a tiny baby.